but even if he doesn't...

"Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if He doesn't, it wouldn't make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn't serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up."

I want to believe like that. I want to know that God has the power and strength to do anything. That even if he chooses not to help, it in no way reflects my faith in him. But even if He doesn't...

I believe I have the abilities and the mental strength to be the best. I remember running to the FLC each day, shooting, running more, pushups and situps, running back, working harder and longer than anyone else. I remember tapping the sign leaving the Tascosa freshman locker room - "Mental Toughness + Super D =" I remember pushing harder than anyone else. I remember the little slip of paper that hung inside my bathroom cabinet - "All right, Mister, let me tell you what winning means. It means you're willing to go longer, work harder, give more than anyone else." I remember basketball practice, and the Strength Shoe workout, and then mowing, and then track practice. I remember giving more than anyone else. I remember a lot of pent up aggression at life. I remember pursuing life with a reckless abandon. I want to make new memories now of going longer, working harding, and giving more than anyone else. I want to be a winner. I want God to give me the strength and wisdom to be all that he has gifted me to be. But even if he doesn't...

faith expressing itself through love

"What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love."

"Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives."

In every detail, let the freedom of living in Christ and the motivation and animation from his Spirit, lead me into an adventure to live for and a battle for which to fight. In that same freedom, allow me the strength to enrich and encourage Adie that she may know that I see her and am captivated by what I see.

Allow me time today to work out measurable goals in order to pursue the things in life that make me come alive - competition, the wilderness, and watching others succeed.

Don't let good enough be good enough.

Have the faith that God will do what you ask or something better and passionately pursue your goals with wreckless abandon. Use the gift of your mind. Use the seeds God plants in your mind to create ideas that will realize your goals.

another racing update...

Remember this...

http://www.triatx.com/forum/index.htm

Still wanting to race or time trial 1x per month, here's what I'm thinking...

Oct 20 - PDC 20k
Nov - big weekend
Dec - half ironman time trial
Jan - big weekend
Feb - half ironman time trial
Mar - big weekend
Apr 13 - playtri half ironman
May - buffman & squeaky
Jun 29 - buffalo springs 70.3

Tuesdays - Hammerfest + some

servant leadership

Whether in marriage, as Tommy spoke about this weekend, in business, as I have not been diligent at, in relationships, or in training, the passage from Phil. 2 speaks volumes. Servant leadership - lead by doing, by example, by considering others better than yourself, by looking out for the interests of others, by having the very attitude of Christ - this is true leadership.

You know how bad I want to be a good leader, whether at the DAC, my training, or my relationship with Adie. You know how much I want to be seen as the hero, and yet, that is not what matters at all. Teach me the very attitude of Christ this week. Show me his actions and reactions to life's hills and valleys. Use me as only you can this week. Thank you Lord.

the narrow gate

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it."

Where am I missing the narrow road? Lately I've felt like I'm traveling down the broad road - being, acting, living just the same as everyone else - when I know I'm called for something more. I know God has plans that are more than this for me. He has blessed me in so many things and where much is given, much is required. Show me the narrow gate and teach me to keep my eyes fixed on you, the author and perfector of my faith.

I felt so alive yesterday riding. The sun on my back, the wind whistling around me, the countryside, God's country, the pleasure spiked with pain (to quote a Chili Pepper's song). I want to be seeking that life everyday, that communion with God.

passion

The Passion of the Christ - what a powerful movie. I haven't seen it in years, but the images from that movie are still burned somewhere deep inside. Just the name, the Passion of the Christ, says so much about our Lord and about what he desires of us.

His passion is seen throughout the gospels; I especially see his heart in the sermon on the mount. His passion is for us to live not in the letter of the law, but in the spirit of it. Not in blindly following rules and regulations, but in following in the spirit of the living God.

Maybe his passion is simply for us to live. "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people that have come alive." "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full."

Where is my passion at today? What is the big adventure, the battle I am caught up in? Where is my field at Bannockburn, my beaches of Normandy? Lord, instill an unmistakable passion in me today. Lead me into my deep heart, speak to me through your passion. Use me as a tool for you today.

FREEDOM!

Thank you God. Thank you for your words of encouragement, your strength, your love. In one day, I went from the pit, as King David would say, to your banquet table. I know that you have big plans for my life - plans that I cannot foretell, but desire to be a part of. I know that you have more in store for me than this life I'm living now. Please direct me where you want me to go, where you want me to be. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." "All a man's ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart." Weigh my heart, Lord, lead me in the way you would have me go. Open doors for your love to shine into and through my spirit today Lord. Grant me the strength to put on the belt of truth, that I may seek out the truth, living a life of honesty and integrity; the breastplate of righteousness, that I may protect my heart with everything that is good and perfect from you; the helmet of salvation, that I may continue to work out my salvation in fear and trembling, not in pride as if I have done something to deserve it, but in gracious humility that you have granted me hope and life; the shield of faith, that I may block all of the arrows of the evil one with an unswerving faith in you; the sword of the spirit, that I may use your Word as living and active, sharp as a double-edged sword, able to divide bone and marrow, able to judge the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. And Lord, I pray that you will use me as a leader, as William Wallace leading a crusade against the forces of this world in order that freedom may be grasped by all. FREEDOM!

racing

I read somewhere that it's pretty common for endurance athletes to love training, but not enjoy racing all that much. What's the story on that? Is there some type of strength and pleasure found in solitary pain or is that we know there is always another gear we can find if we are pushed to it in a race?

Leanna said the other day that she could've ran harder at the end of the Tri to Make a Difference - what's that like? To finish a race and know you didn't leave it all on the course? To not sprint in at the finish? To not cross the line with your quads seized up, your hamstrings ripping out of the skin in the back of your thighs, your lungs on fire and your stomach somewhere between your esophagus and the road to your immediate left?

I live for the moment when the decision is made to go for it - to push for victory in spite of all that good go wrong - cramps, vomiting, syncope, heart conditions, death, or worst of all, defeat. I want to experience this feeling more often in order to keep my training on edge and my motivation on high.

Next year's plan looks like this -

Oct 20 - Palo Duro Canyon 20k
Nov 22 - LSRC Turkey Trot
Dec 9 - WhiteRock Marathon/Half-Marathon
Jan - local race
Feb - local race/tt half ironman
Mar - local race/hammerfest
Apr 13 - Playtri Half Ironman
May - Buffman & Squeaky International Distance Tri
Jun 29 - Buffalo Springs Lake 70.3

This is the thought so far, but I may have some changes as I think through this for another day or two.